Why I Wrote The Grip of Limerence

My name is Kiran James, and for as long as I can remember, I have lived with a peculiar intensity when it comes to love. I didn’t always have a word for it. As a teenager, I thought I was just overly romantic. As a young adult, I thought I was shy, unlucky, or perhaps too idealistic. What I was really experiencing was limerence a powerful, obsessive form of infatuation that takes root in the mind and heart, often against our will.

Like many who stumble upon the term, I first encountered limerence through the writings of psychologist Dorothy Tennov. Suddenly, the fog lifted. There was a name for the endless daydreaming, the compulsive checking, the crushing lows when a message went unanswered. It wasn’t madness. It wasn’t love in the traditional sense. It was limerence.

That realisation began my own healing journey, and it eventually led me to write The Grip of Limerence: Living with Obsessive Love and Finding Freedom.

Why this book?

I didn’t write this book as a psychologist or therapist. I wrote it as someone who has walked through limerence many times and felt the highs, the lows, and the despair that often comes with it. My goal was to create something I wish I’d had in my darkest moments: a guide that blends personal experience with psychological insight, offering both understanding and hope.

In the book, I explore:

• What limerence feels like, and how it differs from love.

• The causes and triggers, from childhood experiences to modern social media.

• The rituals such as re-reading messages, scanning for signals that keep limerence alive.

• Strategies for breaking free, including mindfulness, therapy, boundary-setting, and creative redirection.

• How to protect relationships and build secure love while managing limerence.

My personal story

For me, limerence has often been shaped by absence. My father wasn’t present in my early years, and I sometimes wonder if that left me searching for stability in others. At university, loneliness amplified my fixation on people who gave me the smallest signs of attention. Later, in the workplace, a smile or kind word could become the seed of weeks of obsessive thought.

I don’t share these details to dramatise my life, but to normalise the reality that many of us live with: limerence is not a moral failure. It is a human experience. And by speaking openly about it, we break down shame and create space for healing.

Why limerence matters today

In the digital age, limerence has new fuel. Platforms like Instagram, TikTok, and messaging apps mean we can track the lives of our limerent objects around the clock. A “like” can feel like intimacy. A “seen” message can feel like rejection. The cycle intensifies because technology keeps the limerent object in our pockets at all times.

That’s why I believe it’s important to talk about limerence now, not just as an abstract psychological concept, but as a lived experience affecting millions quietly scrolling, waiting, and longing.

From obsession to freedom

The central message of my book is simple: limerence is natural, but it is not destiny. It may arrive uninvited, but it does not have to control your life. With awareness, tools, and compassion, you can step out of the cycle of obsession and redirect that energy into self-discovery, creativity, and resilience.

Writing this book helped me make peace with my own experiences. It also gave me the chance to connect with others who recognise themselves in these words. Every time a reader tells me, “That’s exactly how I feel—I thought I was alone,” I am reminded why I chose to put these pages into the world.

An invitation

If you’ve ever felt consumed by longing, stuck replaying every detail of an interaction, or torn between euphoria and despair over someone else’s attention, this book is for you.

I invite you to journey with me through The Grip of Limerence: Living with Obsessive Love and Finding Freedom. Not as a clinical textbook, but as a companion part memoir, part guidebook, part roadmap for reclaiming your life from obsession.

Because while limerence may shape our stories, it does not have to define them.

Kiran James
Author of The Grip of Limerence: Living with Obsessive Love and Finding Freedom (USA), the UK version here. 

Farsi for Thank You

 

ر (Dar Tashakor) or مرسی (Mersi)

There are a few common ways to say "thank you" in Farsi (Persian):

1. تشکر می‌کنم (Tashakor mikonam) - A formal "thank you"
2. مرسی (Mersi) - An informal "thanks" (borrowed from French)
3. ممنونم (Mamnunam) - "I am thankful"
4. سپاسگزارم (Sepāsgozāram) - A more elaborate and formal way of expressing gratitude

The most commonly used in everyday conversation are "مرسی" (Mersi) and "ممنونم" (Mamnunam).

My First Animal Words in Persian: Let’s Explore Animals in Farsi: Picture Book: Adventures with Animals: A Fun Way to Learn and Teach Persian Language (Farsi for Beginners)

Welsh Alphabet

My First Welsh Alphabet Adventure: Bilingual Welsh Alphabet Book for Kids

The Welsh alphabet has 29 letters, including unique letters like "ch," "dd," "ff," "ng," "ll," "ph," "rh," and "th" which are considered single letters.

Unlike English, the letters k, q, v, x, and z are not traditionally part of the Welsh alphabet, though they may appear in borrowed words.

The letter "w" in Welsh functions as both a consonant and a vowel, joining a, e, i, o, u, and y as the language's vowels.

"Ll" is one of the most distinctive Welsh letters, pronounced by placing the tongue against the top teeth and blowing air around the sides - a sound that often challenges English speakers.

The alphabet begins with "a, b, c, ch, d, dd" and ends with "u, w, y," following a systematic order that reflects the language's phonetic patterns.

The pronunciation of Welsh letters is quite consistent, unlike English - once you learn the rules, you can reliably pronounce Welsh words. For example, 'w' when used as a vowel sounds like 'oo' in 'book'.

The letter 'y' has two different pronunciations: in the last syllable of a word it sounds like 'i' in 'bin', but in other positions it sounds more like the 'u' in 'but'.

Some Welsh letter combinations create unique sounds: 'dd' is pronounced like 'th' in 'the', 'ff' sounds like 'f' in 'fish', and 'rh' is a aspirated 'r' sound made by adding a slight 'h' breath.

The Welsh alphabet order is: a, b, c, ch, d, dd, e, f, ff, g, ng, h, i, j, l, ll, m, n, o, p, ph, r, rh, s, t, th, u, w, y. This is important for dictionary ordering and filing systems.

While 'si' in English often makes a 'sh' sound (like in 'vision'), in Welsh it's always pronounced as separate sounds - 's' and 'i'.

Historically, the Welsh alphabet evolved from the Latin alphabet but was adapted to represent sounds specific to the Welsh language. For instance, the 'dd' sound has existed in Welsh since at least the 6th century.

Dinosaur in Love

 

Once upon a time, in a land far away,
A dinosaur named Rex had something to say.
He walked with a swagger and a mighty great roar,
He was searching for love, but didn't know where to score. 

He roamed through the fields, and across the great plains,
But all the dino-girls just gave him disdain.
They said he was too big, and his arms were too short,
His roar was too loud, and his feet were too wort. 

But Rex didn't give up, he knew he would find,
The perfect dino-girl, of a one-of-a-kind.
And then one day, he saw her, a T-Rex so fine,
She had a great smile, and a twinkle in her eye. 

He walked up to her, and said with a grin,
"You're the one I've been looking for, let our love begin."
She looked him up and down, and then gave a sigh,
"You're not so bad, I guess we'll give it a try." 

They walked hand in hand, and let out a roar,
They were the happiest dinosaurs, forevermore.
But little did they know, the asteroid was on its way,
To end their love story, on that fateful day. 

But in their hearts, they knew they had something true,
A love that transcended time, and even extinction too.

 The end.

Dinosaurs Can Be in Love Too. Coloring Book of Dinosaurs with Educational Information: A to Z of Dinosaur Love: A Coloring Book for Kids and Adults

Letter to mom in heaven

 Dear Mom,

I miss you so much. Not a day goes by where I don't think of you and all the memories we shared together. I miss your cooking, the way you always made the house smell like a home. I miss the way you would always have a warm meal waiting for me when I came home from school. I miss our talks, the way you always knew just what to say to make me feel better. I miss the way you would listen to me for hours as I talked about my day, my dreams, and my struggles. I miss going shopping with you, trying on clothes and picking out the perfect outfits. I miss the way you would always find the perfect piece of jewellery or accessory to complete my outfit.

But most of all, I miss your love and guidance. You were my rock and my best friend. You taught me how to be strong, how to be kind, and how to be true to myself. You taught me the value of hard work and the importance of family. You taught me to chase my dreams and to never give up. You were always there for me, no matter what. You were my biggest supporter and my best cheerleader.

I am so grateful for the time we had together, but it feels like it wasn't enough. I wish you were here to see all the things I have accomplished, to celebrate my graduation, my first job, and my first apartment. I wish you could be here to help me plan my wedding and to hold my first child. I wish you could be here to see all the things I will do and all the places I will go.

I know you are always with me, watching over me and guiding me from above. I feel your love in every moment and I am so grateful for that. I promise to make you proud and to always remember the lessons you taught me.

I love you, Mom. Thank you for being the best mother a daughter could ask for. Thank you for all the love, the laughter, and the memories. I will hold you in my heart forever.

Your loving daughter

Shalu

Letters to My Mom in Heaven.: Blank Journal to Write Letters to a Mom in Heaven.

What is scarlet fever?

 Scarlet fever, also known as scarlatina, is a contagious bacterial infection caused by the streptococcus bacteria. It is commonly associated with a red rash and a sore throat, though it can present with a range of other symptoms. The condition has been known since the Middle Ages and is most common in children under 10 years of age. Scarlet fever can be successfully treated with antibiotics, and is generally not serious if managed appropriately.

The main symptom of scarlet fever is a bright red rash which appears on the body and face. It typically starts on the chest and stomach, then spreads over the whole body. The rash is usually made up of small pink spots, which may merge into larger areas. It can feel rough like sandpaper, and may be accompanied by fever, sore throat, chills and vomiting. Swollen lymph nodes are also common. The rash typically fades after a few days, but may be replaced by red patches with a yellowish centre.

A key symptom of scarlet fever is a sore throat. This is caused by the same bacteria responsible for the rash, and is usually severe and lasts several days. It is characterised by a feeling of dryness or burning at the back of the throat, red and swollen tonsils, difficulty swallowing and bad breath. It may also be accompanied by fever, swollen glands in the neck, hoarseness and coughing.

In addition to the rash and sore throat, scarlet fever may cause other symptoms such as chills, fever, headache, nausea and vomiting. Other common symptoms include white coating on the tongue, aching joints, swollen glands in the neck and a general feeling of weakness. In some cases, a ‘strawberry tongue’ may be seen. This is a red and bumpy tongue which can be seen in the first few days of the infection.

The cause of scarlet fever is the bacteria streptococcus pyogenes. It is most often transmitted through the air, when an infected person coughs or sneezes. It can also be spread through contact with an infected person’s saliva, nasal secretions or faeces. It is most contagious during the early stages of the infection, before the rash appears.

Scarlet fever can be treated with antibiotics. These can reduce the duration and severity of the illness and prevent the spread of the bacteria to other people. In most cases, the symptoms improve within 48 hours of starting the antibiotics. It is important to complete the full course of antibiotics, even if symptoms improve, to ensure that the infection is completely eradicated.

It is an infectious disease caused by streptococcus bacteria. It is characterised by a bright red rash and sore throat, as well as other symptoms such as fever, chills, headache, nausea and vomiting. It can be successfully treated with antibiotics, and is usually not serious if managed appropriately.

What are the symptoms of scarlet fever?

It is characterized by a distinctive reddish rash on the skin and a sore throat. It is most common in young children, especially between the ages of 5 and 15 years, though it can occur in adults. The disease is spread by contact with infected droplets from the nose and throat of an infected person.

The most common symptoms of scarlet fever include a sore throat, fever, chills, headache, and vomiting. The primary symptom of scarlet fever is a rash that typically appears on the face, chest, and upper back. It is usually red in color, and may have a slightly raised, bumpy texture. The rash usually fades within a few days, but may take up to a week to fully disappear. In some cases, the rash may spread to other parts of the body, including the stomach, arms, and legs. 

In addition to the rash, other symptoms of scarlet fever can include enlarged lymph nodes in the neck, joint pain, and abdominal pain. Some patients may also experience a sandpaper-like texture to their tongue, referred to as a “strawberry tongue”. A general feeling of fatigue is common, as is a loss of appetite.

In some cases, complications can arise from scarlet fever, though this is rare. Complications can include ear and sinus infections, pneumonia, and rheumatic fever, which is an inflammatory condition of the heart. Rarely, kidney damage may occur, though this is rare.

Diagnosis of scarlet fever typically requires both a physical exam and a throat swab test. During a physical exam, the doctor will look for signs of the rash as well as swollen lymph nodes. They may also take a swab of the throat and analyse it in a laboratory. The swab test can confirm the presence of the bacteria that causes scarlet fever.

Treatment for scarlet fever typically includes antibiotics, which can be taken orally or intravenously. Pain relievers can also be used to reduce symptoms. It is important that patients finish the entire course of antibiotics, even if the symptoms have disappeared. This helps prevent the disease from spreading to others.

The symptoms of scarlet fever include a sore throat, fever, chills, headache, vomiting, enlarged lymph nodes, joint pain, abdominal pain, a sandpaper-like tongue, fatigue, and a rash that typically appears on the face, chest, and upper back. If left untreated, it can lead to complications, such as ear and sinus infections, pneumonia, and rheumatic fever. Diagnosis typically requires a physical exam and a throat swab test, and treatment usually involves antibiotics and pain relievers.

Treatment of scarlet fever

The primary treatment for scarlet fever is antibiotics. The antibiotic of choice is usually penicillin, although erythromycin may also be used. Antibiotics are administered orally, usually in a two-week course, and are designed to kill the bacteria that cause the infection. Taking antibiotics as prescribed is essential to ensure the infection is properly treated. It is also important to finish the course of antibiotics, even if the symptoms appear to have cleared, as this will ensure the infection is fully eradicated.

Supportive care is also important in the treatment of scarlet fever. This includes rest, fluids, and over-the-counter medications such as paracetamol or ibuprofen to reduce fever and pain. A cool compress may also be applied to the rash to help relieve the itching and discomfort. It is important to avoid scratching the rash, as this can increase the risk of skin infection.

In some cases, a scarlet fever vaccine may be recommended. The vaccine is administered as a single injection and is effective in reducing the risk of contracting scarlet fever. However, it is important to note that the vaccine does not provide complete protection, and infection can still occur in vaccinated individuals.

In more severe cases of scarlet fever, hospitalisation may be required. This is typically done to ensure the infection is properly monitored and treated, as well as to reduce the risk of further complications. In the hospital, antibiotics may be administered intravenously, and additional supportive treatments such as fluids and nutrition may be provided. The patient may also be monitored for any further complications, such as pneumonia or rheumatic fever. 

The treatment of scarlet fever is essential to reduce the severity of the symptoms and prevent long-term complications. The primary treatment is antibiotics, usually taken orally in a two-week course. Supportive care is also important and may include rest, fluids, and over-the-counter medications to reduce fever and pain. In more severe cases, hospitalisation may be required and additional treatments may be administered. A scarlet fever vaccine is available and can reduce the risk of infection, although it does not provide complete protection. Taking antibiotics as prescribed is essential to ensure the infection is properly treated, and finishing the full course of antibiotics is important to ensure the infection is completely eradicated.

Is scarlet fever dangerous?

Scarlet fever can be a serious condition, especially in young children. In the past, it was a common cause of death in children, but with the availability of antibiotics, the mortality rate has decreased significantly. However, if left untreated, scarlet fever can lead to complications such as pneumonia, ear infections, and rheumatic fever. It is important to seek medical treatment if you suspect that your child may have scarlet fever.

What is the meaning of Namaste

 

Namaste is a common greeting in many parts of the world, but it is particularly prevalent in the Indian subcontinent. It is a simple gesture that involves pressing the palms of one's hands together, often with a small bow of the head. Despite its simplicity, however, the word "namaste" carries a deep cultural significance that is rooted in ancient Hindu philosophy. 

At its core, the word "namaste" is a combination of two Sanskrit words: "namah," which means "bow," and "te," which means "to you." When spoken, the word is often accompanied by a gesture in which the palms are pressed together in front of the chest and the head is slightly bowed. This gesture is known as the "namaste mudra" and is often used as a sign of respect, gratitude, and humility. 

In the Hindu tradition, the gesture of namaste is seen as a way of acknowledging the divine spark within each person. It is a way of recognizing and paying respect to the inherent worth and dignity of every individual. It is also a way of expressing gratitude for the other person's presence and for the gift of life itself. 

The practice of namaste is thought to have originated in India as a way of showing respect to the gods and goddesses. In the Hindu tradition, the gods and goddesses are seen as embodiments of divine energy, and the gesture of namaste is a way of acknowledging this divine energy within each person. Over time, the practice of namaste has come to be associated with a wide range of spiritual and religious traditions, including Hinduism, Buddhism, and Jainism. 

In the modern world, the practice of namaste has become a common way of greeting people in many parts of India and Nepal. It is often used as a way of saying hello, goodbye, or thank you, and it is considered to be a polite and respectful way of interacting with others. The gesture is also commonly used in yoga and meditation classes as a way of acknowledging the spiritual connection between the teacher and the students. 

In addition to its cultural and spiritual significance, the practice of namaste has also been embraced by many people outside of the Indian subcontinent. In recent years, the word has become a popular way of greeting people in Western countries, and it has been adopted by many people who are interested in yoga, meditation, and other spiritual practices. 

Despite its growing popularity, however, the practice of namaste has also been the subject of some controversy. Some people have criticized the gesture as being culturally appropriated, arguing that it is being used by non-Indian people without an understanding of its cultural significance. Others have argued that the gesture has become too commercialized, with many people using it as a way of making a quick profit rather than as a genuine expression of respect and gratitude. 

Overall, however, the practice of namaste continues to be a powerful and meaningful way of expressing respect, gratitude, and humility. It is a simple gesture that carries a deep cultural and spiritual significance, and it is a reminder of the inherent worth and dignity of every individual. Whether it is used as a greeting, a farewell, or a sign of respect, the practice of namaste remains a powerful and enduring tradition.

In the context of yoga, the practice of namaste is often accompanied by a specific posture known as the namaste pose or namaste mudra. This posture involves pressing the palms of the hands together in front of the chest, with the fingers pointing upwards and the thumbs resting on the sternum. The head is typically slightly bowed, and the eyes are closed or focused softly on a point in front of the person. 

The namaste pose is often used at the beginning and end of a yoga class as a way of acknowledging the connection between the teacher and the students. It is a gesture of respect and gratitude, and it is a way of setting a positive and respectful tone for the class. 

In addition to its use as a greeting, the namaste pose also has some physical benefits. By pressing the palms together and engaging the muscles in the arms and shoulders, the namaste pose can help to improve posture and increase upper body strength. It can also help to improve flexibility and range of motion in the wrists and fingers. 

Overall, the namaste pose is an important part of the yoga tradition and is a powerful way of expressing respect, gratitude, and humility. It is a simple gesture that carries a deep cultural and spiritual significance, and it is a reminder of the interconnectedness of all beings.

Hinduism for Beginners